I came to the sea seeking many things, but perhaps refuge most of all. The sea welcomed me in, her watery arms open as I came to touch her vastness. She witnessed my pain and administered my healing. Every day for a month I have walked down to her shores to feel the immense energy of waves rolling in to the coast, this raw power of the open ocean colliding with the land. They are pulses of energy, Sophia explained to me as we sat on her surfboard rocking in their rhythm. I think to myself about how far these waves have come just to arrive here and feel awe in the face of all of that open water.
Everything about the geography of the Pacific is on an awesome scale. Cliffs drop dramatically down into the crashing surf below, as mountains rise out from behind a thin veil of humidity. My thoughts wander north along the continuity of this same coastline to California, a place I had gotten to know one year ago. The season had been the same, but the circumstances so different. It is peculiar to see the way life unfolds in cycles, sitting from my vantage point here thousands of miles farther south now I witness a chapter opening as another one is coming to a close. I think about love, how it comes and goes in our lives, how hard it can be to let it go or welcome it in as it moves like the waves.
During this month though it was the sea that I welcomed in as my lover. Swimming under her water, I’d open my eyes wide and let the salty water flood into me, mixing with my own bodily fluids to create some kind of holy osmosis. She moves naturally, constantly: in and out, here and there, in all places at all times.
I’d go to her everyday to pray, to feel, to just be, to come to acceptance. I would come in all sorts of states, with wild, raging energies, craziness emanating from within and she would receive me with her timeless grace, taking everything I brought without questions, without resistance. Some days softly she would hold me, others tossing me around, pushing me to play, to let go, spin, freewheel, rejoice. Some days she was chaotic, some days she was gentle with me, a fickle lover with many faces. Regardless of her humor that day, I always left her clean, energetically neutralized. The sea is so generous in her way, absorbing up all excess.
At night, in my bed up on the hill, I was lulled to sleep still feeling the waves rocking me, cradled even from a distance. My nightmares were chased away, everything is going to be okay, all will pass I felt her watery whisper in my ear.
Now the time has come for me to leave her side, try my luck somewhere new, at a distance from this constant comfort that I’ve come to rely upon so much. So I'll venture on, heading to the big city, but I know she's still out there, farther away now but just as vital . Every drop of water will be my reminder. And I’ll carry her within me, the watery part of myself, the majority of my being will be a constant remembrance from within.